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"The best fights don't occur between strangers. They occur between friends who trust each other."
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"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Humor
"It's amazing what a woman will read into if you by accident, say I love you. Ten times out of ten, a guy means I love this."
Relationship
"You can't fool people into loving you."
Love
"You realize that people take drugs because it's the only real personal adventure left to them in their time-constrained, law-and-order, property-lined world. It's only in drugs or death we'll see anything new, and death is just too controlling."
Psychology
"You know that old phrase 'Those who don't remember the past are condemned to repeat it'? Well, I think those who remember the past are even worse off."
Reflection
"You know how both life and porno movies end. The only difference is life starts with the orgasm."
Humor
"They should let some people into the library by prescription only."
Education
"In all seriousness, Archer claims that if you, as a living, alive person, hear the song "You're the One That I Want" from the musical Grease three times in a single day - seemingly by accident, whether in an elevator, on a radio, a telephone hold button, or whatever - it indicates that you'll surely die before sunset."
Fate
"We live and we die and anything else is just a delusion."
Mortality
"The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open."
Happiness
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"O serpent heart hid with a flowering face!Did ever a dragon keep so fair a cave?Beautiful tyrant, feind angelical, dove feather raven, wolvish-ravening lamb! Despised substance of devinest show, just opposite to what thou justly seemest - A dammed saint, an honourable villain!"
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Personal Development
"Never believe a friend who offered you his friendship just because he was getting bored."
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Personal Development
"El infierno es saber que tenAas tan poca fe en mi amor que estabas dispuesta a condenarme a la agonAa de por vida."
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Personal Development
"In thy foul throat thou liest."
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Personal Development
"Every betrayal contains a perfect moment, a coin stamped heads or tails with salvation on the other side. Betrayal is a friend I have known a long time, a two-faced goddess looking forward and back with a clear, earnest suspicion of good fortune."
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Personal Development
"True love is tested when betrayed."
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Personal Development
"Fire false friends. They are in to fast-forward your fall and failure."
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Personal Development
"Friendship's enemy is betrayal."
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Personal Development
"Fire False Friends as early as possible. Do it before they dig out the dream seeds you've planted! The earlier, the better; the quicker, the safer!"
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Personal Development
"When I was 15, I made a solo record. It made Artie very unhappy. He looked upon it as something of a betrayal."
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Personal Development
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