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"But by far the worst thing we do to males-by making them feel they have to be hard-is that we leave them with very fragile egos. The harder a man feels compelled to be, the weaker his ego is."
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"Even if we have bad feelings about our past and it causes a sense of alienation, it belongs to our history. Its benchmarks are stored in the granary of our mind and crucial evaluations for the future cannot be made without consulting the archive of our memory. ['Not without the past']"
"Because of self-doubt, the fear of failure, or laziness, most people usually bite off way less than they can chew."
"And is usually true of a man of one idea, [Charles] became obsessed."
"The only way to truly help most drug addicts and most alcoholics is to-instead of them-change reality."
"There is no such thing as a boring person when you are lonely or extremely bored."
"I am a mask, concealing the real."
"To evade insanity and depression, we unconsciously limit the number of people toward whom we are sincerely sympathetic."
"The inmates made jokes about the chair, the way people always make jokes about things that frighten them but can't be gotten away from."
"Happiness is something that you establish before a relationship. It is not the relationship that establishes it first."
"Comparison more than reality makes men happy or wretched."
Explore more quotes by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
"A man who would be intimidated by me is exactly the kind of man I would have no interest in."
"There are people, she once wrote, who think that we cannot rule ourselves because the few times we tried, we failed, as if all the others who rule themselves today got it right the first time. It is like telling a crawling baby who tries to walk, and then falls back on his buttocks, to stay there. As if the adults walking past him did not all crawl, once."
"I have my father's lopsided mouth. When I smile, my lips slope to one side. My doctor sister calls it my cerebral palsy mouth. I am very much a daddy's girl, and even though I would rather my smile wasn't crooked, there is something moving for me about having a mouth exactly like my father's."
"She felt as if she had somehow failed him and herself by allowing his mother's behavior to upset her. She should be above it; she should shrug it off as the ranting of a village woman; she should not keep thinking of all the retorts she could have made instead of just standing mutely in that kitchen. But she was upset, and made even more so by Odenigbo's expression, as if he could not believe she was not quite as high-minded as he had thought."
"Is love this misguided need to have you beside me most of the time? Is love this safety I feel in our silences? Is it this belonging, this completeness?"
"Don't see it as forgiving him. See it as allowing yourself to be happy. What will you do with the misery you have chosen? Will you eat misery?"
"If I were not African, I wonder whether it would be clear to me that Africa is a place where the people do not need limp gifts of fish but sturdy fishing rods and fair access to the pond. I wonder whether I would realize that while African nations have a failure of leadership, they also have dynamic people with agency and voices."
"Each time he suggested they get married, she said no. They were too happy, precariously so, and she wanted to guard that bond; she feared that marriage would flatten it into a prosaic partnership."
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