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"Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them."
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"It would not be fair to the critics of Rotary, who include some of the most brilliant of the British and American writers, to charge them with prejudice."

"American critics are like American universities. They both have dull and half-dead faculties."

"I'd cap the total amount of income taxes paid by Americans to no more than 25 percent and tax all income only once."

"Americans may have no identity, but they do have wonderful teeth."

"We did not treat the Americans badly. They left Iran in a relaxed mood. The embassy was active here after the revolution. We didn't have any problem with them. They started it."

"American teachers have one indisputable advantage over foreign ones; they understand the American temperament and can judge its unevenness, its lights and its shadows."

"Sure, I did a lot of things in excess. But if you look at the core, the foundation of what I pursued, what red-blooded young American male in my position wouldn't?"
Explore more quotes by Lily Tomlin

"Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing."
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