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"I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro."
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"If you have tears, prepare to shed them now."
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Personal Development

"When I was young there was no respect for the young, and now that I am old there is no respect for the old. I missed out coming and going."
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Personal Development

"So, like I said, I will visit Jeffersonville more often because I now have a little getaway house up there."
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Personal Development

"Now I get to pick and choose exactly what I want to do."
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Personal Development

"Now the identification of individual sounds by phonetic observation is an artificial way of proceeding."
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Personal Development

"The rich pay more in total taxes now than ever before - ever. It's true. Just like it's true that when the rich are convinced they're going to be taxed more, they spend less. And when the top few percenters don't spend, there goes all your spending, because they account for half of all retail spending."
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Personal Development

"All the classical genres are now ridiculous in their rigorous purity."
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Personal Development

"Old is always fifteen years from now."
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Personal Development

"I have more zits now than I did as a teenager. Stress zits."
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Personal Development

"I got Jimmy Hall from Wet Willie and he also plays now with Hank Williams Jr."
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Personal Development
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"There are millions of chords. There are millions of numbers. And everyone forgets the one that is a zero. But without the zero, numbers are just arithmetic. Without the empty chord, music is just noise."
Art


"He knew from experience that true and obvious ideas, such as the ineffable wisdom and judgment of the Great God Om, seemed so obscure to many people that you actually had to kill them before they saw the error of their ways..."
Religion


"You say that you people don't burn folk and sacrifice people anymore, but that's what true faith would mean, y'see? Sacrificin' your own life, one day at a time, to the flame, declarin' the truth of it, workin' for it, breathin' the soul of it. That's religion. Anything else is just . . . is just bein' nice. And a way of keepin' in touch with the neighbors."
Religion


"No, what he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk."
Heroes


"'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger."
Entertainment


"Witches just aren't like that, said Magrat. "We live in harmony with the great cycles of Nature, and do no harm to anyone, and it's wicked of them to say we don't. We ought to fill their bones with hot lead."The other two looked at her with a certain amount of surprised admiration. She blushed, although not greenly, and looked at her knees."Goodie Whemper did a recipe, she confessed. "It's quite easy. What you do is, you get some lead, and you-"I don't think that would be appropriate, said Granny carefully, after a certain amount of internal struggle. "It could give people the wrong idea."But not for long, said Nanny wistfully."
Morality


"You'll get into dreadful trouble and it won't be my fault. You are bad people."
Rebellion


"The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues."
Understanding


"Then Tak looked upon the stone and it was trying to come alive, and Tak smiled, and wrote All things strive.And for the service the stone had given, he fashioned it into the first Troll, and delighted in the life that came unbidden."
Mythology


"I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did."
Understanding
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