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Garrison Keillor

"It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming."

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"It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming."

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Amber Hurdle

"So you've been gone a couple days,' Alison said. 'Hmm, what'd you miss...A celebrity did drugs. Politicians disagreed. A different celebrity wore a bikini that revealed a bodily imperfection. A team won a sporting event, but another team lost.' I smiled. 'You can't go disappearing on everybody like this, Hazel. You miss too much."

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Amber Hurdle

"Our minds of infinite possibilities have been plowed, seeded and cultivated by every word, institution and sacred belief we hold dear, to produce a foul harvest of exclusion, apathy, brute domination and death."

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Amber Hurdle

"In a stress pressure-cooker like America, I believe we will see more and more shooting massacres. Violence is in our cultural DNA."

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Amber Hurdle

"A society becomes a breeding ground of violence and terrorism when it closes its door to new ideas and forces the citizens to live in the prison of conforming thoughts."

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Amber Hurdle

"Oh shit did you just dis the feminine genderI'll pummel your ass then stick you in a blenderYou think I like Tori and Ani so I can't rhymeBut I got flow like Ghostbusters got slimeObjectify women and it's fuckin' onYou'll be dead and gone like ancient Babylon."

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Amber Hurdle

"I was pure, before you defiled me, and don't you forget it. As though the concept of purity is anything more than the construct of selfish, competitive men stampeding toward the women to call dibs. I'll be damned if I'm not worth stampeding toward, but the prize had better be me, hymen or no hymen."

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Amber Hurdle

"Don't judge people by their religious, cultural, or professional background. Judge if you must, by their behavior with other people."

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Amber Hurdle

"Oh! You are a woman! You are the pure reflection of my mother, sister, and daughter. I can never hurt you."

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Amber Hurdle

"A country is poor not because they have no wealth but because they have no good ideas."

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Amber Hurdle

"Either you are homophobic or you are a human - you cannot be both."

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Garrison Keillor
"I want to resume the life of a shy person."
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Garrison Keillor
"Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve."
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Garrison Keillor
"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known."
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Garrison Keillor
"Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough."
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Garrison Keillor
"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
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Garrison Keillor
"A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever."
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Garrison Keillor
"I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy."
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Garrison Keillor
"A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer."
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Garrison Keillor
"Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people."
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Garrison Keillor
"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose."
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