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Benjamin Alire Saenz

"I'm not a good kid. Yeah, look, I'm just a piece of paper with the word sad and a bunch of cuss words written on it.A lousy piece of paper. That's me.A piece of paper that's waiting to be torn up."

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"I'm not a good kid. Yeah, look, I'm just a piece of paper with the word sad and a bunch of cuss words written on it.A lousy piece of paper. That's me.A piece of paper that's waiting to be torn up."

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Akiroq Brost

"It's despair at the lack of (I'm cheating, I didn't say all these things - but I'm going to write what I want to say as well as what I did) feeling, of love, of reason in the world. It's despair that anyone can even contemplate the idea of dropping a bomb or ordering that it should be dropped. It's despair that so few of us care. It's despair that there's so much brutality and callousness in the world."

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Akiroq Brost

"It is said that scattered through Despair's domain are a multitude of tiny windows, hanging in the void. Each window looks out onto a different scene, being, in our world, a mirror. Sometimes you will look into a mirror and feel the eyes of Despair upon you, feel her hook catch and snag on your heart. Despair says little, and is patient."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Mon Dieu, la vie est par trop moche."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Despair is perfectly compatible with a good dinner, I promise you."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Entering by the carré, a piece of mirror-glass, set in an oaken cabinet, repeated my image. It said I was changed: my cheeks and lips were sodden white, my eyes were glassy, and my eyelids swollen and purple. On rejoining my companions, I knew they all looked at me - my heart seemed discovered to them: I believed myself self-betrayed. Hideously certain did it seem that the very youngest of the school must guess why and for whom I despaired."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Let me die because I do not want to see the sun again."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"He who labors diligently need never despair; for all things are accomplished by diligence and labor."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Naturalists tell of a noble race of horses that instinctively open a vein with their teeth, when heated and exhausted by a long course, in order to breathe more freely. I am often tempted to open a vein, to procure for myself everlasting liberty. Cento volte ho impugnato una lama per conficcarmela nel cuore. Si dice di una nobile razza i cavalli,che quando si sentono accaldati e affaticati, si aprono istintivamente una vena, per respirare piA1 liberamente. Spesso anche io vorrei aprirmi una vena che mi desse libertA eterna."

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Akiroq Brost

"Renewed hope followed renewed effort: It shone like the former for some weeks, then, like it, faded, flickered: Not a line, not a word reached me. When half a year wasted in vain expectancy, my hope died out, and then I felt dark indeed."

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"Adam says I isolate. He is addicted to telling me that I spend too much time in my head. It's an unhealthy behavior. Look, I don't see how not bothering other people with your screwed-up vision of the world constitutes unhealthy behavior."

Isolation

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"I was fifteen.I was bored.I was miserable."

Adolescence

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"I have it in my head that when we're born, God writes things down on our hearts. See, on some people's hearts he writes happy and on some people's hearts he writes sad and on some people's hearts he writes crazy and on some people's hearts he writes genius and on some people's hearts he writes angry and on some people's hearts he writes winner and on some people's hearts he writes loser."

Fate

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"The heart can get really cold if all you've known is winter."

Emotion

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere. The clearest summer could end in a downpour. Could end in lightning and thunder."

Pain

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"I wondered what it would be like, to love a girl, to know how a girl thinks, to see the world through a girl's eyes. Maybe they knew more than boys. Maybe they understood things that boys could never understand."

Understanding

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"Do you think it will always be this way?'What?'I mean, when do we start feeling like the world belongs to us?I wanted to tell him that the world would never belong to us. 'I don't know, I said. 'Tomorrow."

Youth

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"In the distance, I can see a storm coming in, the dark clouds and the lightning on the horizon moving towards me. I wait and I wait and I wait for the storm. And then it comes, and the rains wash away the nightmares and the memories. And I'm not afraid."

Observation

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"Do you know what dead skin looks like when they take off a cast?That was my life, all that dead skin. It was strange to feel like the Ari I used to be. Except that wasn't totally true. The Ari I used to be didn't exist anymore. And the Ari I was becoming? He didn't exist yet."

Transformation

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"I didn't think it was my job to accept what everyone said I was and who I should be."

Identity

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