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Aspen Matis

"I began to lust after our conjoining life."

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"I began to lust after our conjoining life."

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Amber Hurdle

"How miserably hypocritical, you might say, but no sooner am I offered a chance to flee Hell than I yearn to stay. Few families hold their relations as closely as do prisons. Few marriages sustain the high level of passion that exists between criminals and those who seek to bring them to justice. It's no wonder the Zodiac Killer flirted so relentlessly with the police. Or that Jack the Ripper courted and baited detectives with his - or her - coy letters. We all wish to be pursued. We all long to be desired."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Nought's had, all's spent, where our desire is got without content."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I said that sometimes it's too much.""Well, I want someone who doesn't thinks so. I want someone who's heart is big enough to hold me.""You want someone whose love will fit around your finger."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Sexual starvation forces a heterosexual man to see beauty in every single female who he can sleep with without his society's disapproval."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!"

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"You are a child of God. You are blessed."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"The greatest blessing is the gift of life."

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Amber Hurdle

"Wish for what you want."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"What men classify as living is often but the discontentment of making oneself itch just to enjoy the scratch."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"But I am terrified by what I want: for him, and worst of all, from him. Because I do want. I'm not even sure what, exactly, but the want is there, just like the hate and anger were there before. But this is not a tower. It is an endless, tunneling pit; it drives deep, and opens a hole inside me."

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Aspen Matis
"Helplessness didn't have to be my identity, I wasn't condemned to it. I was willing - able - to change. Our enmeshment had been enabled by my belief that I needed [my mom] to help me, to take care of things for me - and to save me - but, back in the home where I'd learned this helplessness, I found I no longer felt that I was trapped in it."

Independence

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Aspen Matis
"But the truth was stranger than an aimless road, it always was."

Truth

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Aspen Matis
"My path, beyond doubt or denial. I just hadn't looked toward it. I wasn't lost. I'd always known the way. If I'd only allowed myself to look. I had never been lost, only scared."

Destiny

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Aspen Matis
"If I could mark clearly, convincingly and consistently what was good for me and also what was bad-if I could say yes and also no, as if it were the law-it would become my law."

Self-Control

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Aspen Matis
"I was no longer following a trail. I was learning to follow myself."

Independence

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Aspen Matis
"Somewhere in the sun-washed space between Southern California's hills of sand and the present desolate volcanic sprawl I was crossing, my legs had strengthened, but " invisibly " so had my will. The wisdom of my body had cultivated vibrantly since those sadness-drunken months after the rape when I'd felt so numbed by the hurt and shame that I didn't move further. No longer."

Recovery

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Aspen Matis
"But I couldn't say any of this yet. No one answer felt it could contain anything close to the truth about her. My thoughts of my mother were wild chaos, I didn't know how to tell him we'd been enmeshed for as long as I could remember."

Family

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Aspen Matis
"I began to lust after our conjoining life."

Desire

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Aspen Matis
"I didn't know if I was brave or reckless."

Bravery

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Aspen Matis
"He hadn't treated me with the love and compassion I wanted, but I was worthy of that love, and someday some boy would have it for me. I hadn't found it yet, but I would find it soon."

Love

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