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Aspen Matis

"I was the director of my life, it was already true, and I would soon lead myself to my dreamed-of destinations.It was the task of my one thousand miles of solitude."

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"I was the director of my life, it was already true, and I would soon lead myself to my dreamed-of destinations.It was the task of my one thousand miles of solitude."

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Amber Hurdle

"I was the director of my life, it was already true, and I would soon lead myself to my dreamed-of destinations.It was the task of my one thousand miles of solitude."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"People stubbornly lived their lives as they wanted, without regard to me, to an amazing degree."

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Personal Development

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Aspen Matis
"Living as Wild Child, I could no longer be Debby Parker comfortably - this name that I'd been given at birth that defined me before I'd had the chance to define myself."

Identity

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Aspen Matis
"I walked without breaks, slept through nights without waking, inhumanly smooth " a small machine."

Endurance

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Aspen Matis
"I wanted both things: strength in my independence and also this new desire. This felt like the beginning of a new kind of love."

Independence

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Aspen Matis
"This was a vision of wildness contained " caged. Huge, powerful animals whose wild dignity was stripped from them.Panic jolted me. These animals had had their freedom seized by people who put their own desires first. In the glint of the silver cage bars I saw the same steely repression, the same cold entitlement that allows people to feel it is okay to steal bodies and lives as I glimpsed while frozen beneath Junior. The boy who had put his few minutes of pleasure before my entire life."

Injustice

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Aspen Matis
"These tools were my parents' way of saying: What you're doing is important. We support it. We want to help you find your way."

Support

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Aspen Matis
"I sensed he was the one who might be able to see me clearly, the way I most wished to be seen."

Connection

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Aspen Matis
"Death is not a pretty flower that had almost pricked me. It was not a small annoyance I could simply bypass and quickly disregard. It was really The End."

Death

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Aspen Matis
"It was my first lesson in the fragility of attraction."

Attraction

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Aspen Matis
"The PCT would lead me to an otherworld, through the sadness I felt here, out of it."

Journey

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Aspen Matis
"I made a conscious effort to name my needs and desires. To carefully listen to and accurately identify what I felt. Hunger, exhaustion, cold, lower-back ache, thirst. The ephemeral pangs: wistfulness and loneliness. Rest fixed most things. Sleep was my sweet reward. I treated bedtime as both incentive and sacrament."

Self-Care

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