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"A while back, when Dick and Barry and I agreed that what really matters is what you like, not what you are like, Barry proposed the idea of a questionnaire for prospective partners."
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"He was gorgeous, and I absolutely, no question, had to be drooling. After a quick and hopefully stealthy check "big show, I wasn't!- I found myself wonder what color his eyes were. Brown maybe. Or even hazel. Either way, wow, just wow. Deer? Headlights? Hi, I'm Ali."
"It was my first lesson in the fragility of attraction."
"Should I pull on a shirt?" he asked with hint of amusement. I WILL NOT BLUSH. "No." He'd be doing the world a favor if he never wore a shirt again, but I wasn't going to tell him that part. "You're fine."
"One rarely falls in love without being as much attracted to what is interestingly wrong with someone as what is objectively healthy."
"If there is one thing I have come to believe over the years, it's the notion that there really is somebody for everybody. Every single person is going to look at beauty from a different angle. Every single person is going to be attracted to certain features and characteristics that are completely different than the next person. And there isn't a person on earth that everybody on earth finds attractive."
"I like a girl with a substantial bottom,' said Renoir, drawing in the air the size bottom he preferred."
"Phones are distracting. The internet is distracting.The way he looked at you? He wasn't distracted. He was consumed."
"You're dangerous, he says.'Why?'Because you make me believe in the impossible."
"Sylvia grabs my sleeve. 'He's a looker.'I know. The problem is, he knows it, too."
"Margaret liked this smile; it was the first thing she had admired in this new friend of her father's; and the opposition of character, shown in all these details of appearance she had just been noticing, seemed to explain the attraction they evidently felt towards each other."
Explore more quotes by Nick Hornby
"The unhappiest people I know, romantically speaking, are the ones who like pop music the most; and I don't know whether pop music has caused this unhappiness, but I do know that they've been listening to the sad songs longer than they've been living the unhappy lives."
"You're fucked. You thought you were going to be someone, but now it's obvious you're nobody. You haven't got as much talent as you thought you had, and there was no Plan B, and you got no skills and no education, and now you're looking at forty or fifty years of nothing. Less than nothing, probably. That's pretty heavy. That's worse than having the brain thing, because what you got now will take a lot longer to kill you. You've got the choice of a slow, painful death, or a quick, merciful one."
"When we first split up, he called me a stalker, but that's like an emotive word, "stalker", isn't it? I don't think you can call it stalking when it's just phone calls and letters and emails and knocking on the door. And I only turned up at his work twice. Three times, if you count his Christmas party, which I don't, because he said he was going to take me to that anyway."
"Everything's complicated, even those things that seem flat in their bleakness or sadness."
"I personally find that for domestic purposes, the Trivial Pursuit system works better than Dewey."
"Look at all the things that can go wrong for men. There's the nothing-happening-at-all problem, the too-much-happening-too-soon problem, the dismal-droop-after-a-promising-beginning problem; there's the size-doesn't-matter-except-in-my-case problem, the failing-to-deliver-the-goods problem, and what do women have to worry about? A handful of cellulite? Join the club. A spot of I-wonder-how-I-rank? Ditto."
"Look at the statistics. You're more likely to top yourself if you've just gone through a divorce. Or if you're anorexic. Or if you're unemployed. Or if you're a prostitute. Or if you've fought in a war, or if you've been raped, or if you've lost somebody . . . There are lots and lots of factors that push people over the edge; none of these factors are likely to make you feel anything but fucking miserable."
"A man who wants to die feels angry and full of life and desperate and bored and exhausted, all at the same time; he wants to fight everyone, and he wants to curl up in a ball and hide in a cupboard somewhere. He wants to say sorry to everyone, and he wants everyone to know just how badly they've all let him down."
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