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"The society of dead authors has this advantage over that of the living: they never flatter us to our faces, nor slander us behind our backs, nor intrude upon our privacy, nor quit their shelves until we take them down."
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"So you've been gone a couple days,' Alison said. 'Hmm, what'd you miss...A celebrity did drugs. Politicians disagreed. A different celebrity wore a bikini that revealed a bodily imperfection. A team won a sporting event, but another team lost.' I smiled. 'You can't go disappearing on everybody like this, Hazel. You miss too much."

"A society becomes a breeding ground of violence and terrorism when it closes its door to new ideas and forces the citizens to live in the prison of conforming thoughts."

"Oh shit did you just dis the feminine genderI'll pummel your ass then stick you in a blenderYou think I like Tori and Ani so I can't rhymeBut I got flow like Ghostbusters got slimeObjectify women and it's fuckin' onYou'll be dead and gone like ancient Babylon."

"I was pure, before you defiled me, and don't you forget it. As though the concept of purity is anything more than the construct of selfish, competitive men stampeding toward the women to call dibs. I'll be damned if I'm not worth stampeding toward, but the prize had better be me, hymen or no hymen."
Explore more quotes by Charles Caleb Colton

"The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary."

"Happiness that grand mistress of the ceremonies in the dance of life impels us through all its mazes and meanderings but leads none of us by the same route."

"Our admiration of fine writing will always be in proportion to its real difficulty and its apparent ease."

"The study of mathematics, like the Nile, begins in minuteness but ends in magnificence."

"Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer."

"He that knows himself, knows others; and he that is ignorant of himself, could not write a very profound lecture on other men's heads."

"There is a paradox in pride: it makes some men ridiculous but prevents others from becoming so."
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