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Christopher Moore

"I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck."

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"I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck."

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"Her eyes reversed into herself, to watch the secret heart of herself pounding itself into pieces against the side of her chest."

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"The love of a half dead heart will keep you half alive."

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"Like many people, I feel like celebrating. Remember this feeling. It is human, and can help us understand when others express bloodlust."

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"When I am with you, even the water makes me drank."

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"I'm not up for laughing, but their laughter makes the room feel safer, so we begin to explore."

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"Smiley tears and teary smiles are priceless."

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Asa Don Brown

"And then something invisible snapped insider her, and that which had come together commenced to fall apart."

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Asa Don Brown

"The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction."

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Asa Don Brown

"Neither of us says the word love, not once. It would be tempting fate; it would be romance, bad luck."

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Asa Don Brown

"Let you alone! That's all very well, but how can I leave myself alone ? We need not to be let alone. We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real?"

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Christopher Moore
"There's a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality--there's mercy in a sharp blade. Only with time, as the edge wears, does the real ache begin."
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Christopher Moore
"I've won Satan's lottery."
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Christopher Moore
"Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong."
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Christopher Moore
"One day I was telling him that I thought that cars had replaced guns as phallic symbols for American men, and I thought it was interesting that he had one that was so small and fast. The next day he gave me the Datsun and went out and bought a Lincoln."
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Christopher Moore
"We were seekers. You are that which is sought, Joshua. You are the source. The end is divinity, in the beginning is the word. You are the word."
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Christopher Moore
"And I'll have you know that if you hurt my son again, if he so much as sighs sadly over his coffee, I will hire a man, a Russian, probably, to hunt you down and rip all that shiny black hair from your head, then break your skinny arms and legs, and set you on fire, and then put you out with a hammer. And should there be children from your beastly rutting, I shall have the Russian man cut them to tiny pieces and feed them to Madame Jacob's dog. because, although he may be only a worthless, simpleminded, libertine artist, Lucien is my favorite, and I will not have him hurt. Do you understand?"
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Christopher Moore
"The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear."
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Christopher Moore
"Lash had been explaining to her that it's impolite to refer to an African American as a nigga, unless one was another African American, when Troy Lee came in and said, 'She only speaks Cantonese.''She does not. She keeps coming in and saying 'What's up my nigga?'''Oh yeah. She does that to me, too. Did you give her a pound?''No. I didn't give her a pound, motherfucker. She called me a nigga.''Well, she's not going to quit unless you give her a pound. It's just the way she rolls.''That's some bullshit, Troy.''It's her couch."
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Christopher Moore
"Children see magic because they look for it."
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Christopher Moore
"It's sarcasm, Josh.'Sarcasm?'It's from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren't really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew named it.'Well, if the village idiot named it, I'm sure it's a good thing.'There you go, you got it.'Got what?'Sarcasm.'No, I meant it.'Sure you did.'Is that sarcasm?'Irony, I think.'What's the difference?'I haven't the slightest idea.'So you're being ironic now, right?'No, I really don't know.'Maybe you should ask the idiot.'Now you've got it.'What?'Sarcasm."
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