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"The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square."
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"Punctuality is the thief of time."
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Personal Development
"I come here with no expectations, only to profess, now that I am at liberty to do so, that my heart is and always will be...yours."
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Personal Development
"Satire is a lesson, parody is a game."
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Personal Development
"Oh, brothers! I don't care for brothers. My elder brother won't die, and my younger brothers seem never to do anything else."
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Personal Development
"I picked up one of the books and flipped through it. Don't get me wrong, I like reading. But some books should come with warning labels: Caution: contains characters and plots guaranteed to induce sleepiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery after ingesting more than one chapter. Has been known to cause blindness, seizures and a terminal loathing of literature. Should only be taken under the supervision of a highly trained English teacher. Preferably one who grades on the curve."
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Personal Development
"I'm just trying to portray what I find ironic or humorous."
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Personal Development
"Carnal embrace is the practice of throwing one's arms around a side of beef."
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Personal Development
"What are you doing in a fast lane, snail?"
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Personal Development
"He wondered reflectively what would happen if you asked a nun where the Gents was. Probably the Pope sent you a sharp note or something."
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Personal Development
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."
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Personal Development
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"For each man kills the thing he loves yet each man does not diehe does not die a death of shame on a day of dark disgracenor have a noose about his neck, nor a cloth upon his facenor drop feet foremost through the floor into an empty spaceHe does not sit with silent men who watch him night and dayWho watch him when he tries to weep and when he tries to prayWho watch him lest himself should rob the prison of its prey."
Mortality
"The curves of your lips rewrite history."
Love
"It was not intended as a compliment. It was a confession. Now that I have made it, something seems to have gone out of me. Perhaps one should never put one's worship into words."
Spiritual
"I have never met any really wicked person before. I feel rather frightened. I am so afraid he will look just like every one else."
Emotion
"You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."
Temptation
"Punctuality is the thief of time."
Satire
"One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry."
Love
"Most people are boring and stupid."
Society
"God and other artists are always a little obscure....."
God
"The true perfection of man lies not in what man has, but in what man is."
Wisdom
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