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"Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it."
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"As much as I respect him, he is somewhat of an ignorant fool."
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Personal Development
"If we're to be judged by our parents and grandparents, then we all may as well impale ourselves upon jagged bits of rock."
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Personal Development
"People can be creul,people can be mean, what they say about us is not true it makes it there opinion, and it doesnt mean thats how the rest of the world see's it."
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Personal Development
"Whatever people say about porn, you should stop thinking about that's shit like nightmares...!"
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Personal Development
"Paradise is the heart of the people who speak well of you; who think fondly about you because of your exemplary life. Hell is is the heart of the people who curse you, who wish you were dead for your evil actions against them."
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Personal Development
"Judgement does not come suddenly, the proceedings gradually merge into the judgement."
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Personal Development
"Not every dog that barks, bites."
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Personal Development
"If you catch poisonous fish, throw it back into the sea."
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Personal Development
"Life is one long struggle between conclusions based on abstract ways of conceiving cases and opposite conclusions prompted by our instinctive perception of them."
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Personal Development
"She is ugly - end of discussion!"
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Personal Development
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"Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it."
Humor
"I would later discover it was a bad idea to gather more than two of these people in an enclosed area for any length of time. The stage was not only a physical place but also a state of mind, and the word audience was defined as anyone forced to suffer your company. We young actors were a string of lightbulbs left burning 24 hours a day, exhausting ourselves and others with our self-proclaimed brilliance."
Satire
"Look at yourself on the day that you graduated from college, then look at yourself today. I did that recently and it was like, 'Yikes! What the hell happened?"
Reflection
"I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself."
Humor
"Each one of us is left to choose our own quality of life and take pleasure where we find it with the understanding that, like Mom used to say, sooner or later something's gonna get you."
Personal
"Low ceiling, stone walls, a dirt floor stamped with paw prints. I never go in without announcing myself. 'Hyaa!' I yell. 'Hyaa. Hyaa!' It's the sound my father makes when entering his toolshed, the cry of cowboys as they round up dogies, and it suggests a certain degree of authority. Snakes, bats, weasels --it's time to head up and move on out."
Life
"Hugh consoled me, saying, 'Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at.'When asked for some examples, he listed vacuuming and naming stuffed animals. He says he can probably come up with a few more, but he'll need some time to think."
Friendship
"I asked her, dreamily, if we had met, and when she told me that we had not, I gave her a little finger wave, the type a leprechaun might offer a pixie who was floating by on a maple leaf. 'Well, hi there,' I whispered."
Humor
"The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, 'I want to love, I want to live..."
Spiritual
"Cover your glass in France or Germany --even worse, in England - and in the voice of someone who has personally affronted, your host will ask why you're not drinking. 'Oh, I just don't feel like it this morning.''Why not?''I guess I'm not in the mood?''Well, this'll put you in the mood. Here. Drink up.''No, really, I'm OK.''Just taste it.''Actually, I'm sort of...well, I sort of have a problem with it.''Then how about half a glass?"
Culture
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