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"I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian."
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"I said I didn't want to run for president. I didn't ask you to believe me."

"The President then proceeded to read his Emancipation Proclamation, making remarks on the several parts as he went on, and showing that he had fully considered the whole subject, in all lights under which it had been presented to him."

"Apparently, the image of our president is as offensive to MTV as it is to me."

"The most important aspect of the relationship between the president and the secretary of state is that they both understand who is president."

"When George Washington was elected president, there was no national vote."

"Anytime the president visits Nebraska its good for Nebraska."

"At least she's the president of something, which is more than I can say."

"I have just come from the castle, where I have seen the president of the republic, and I can tell you that he has accepted all of my proposals without making any changes."
Explore more quotes by Will Durst

"How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican."

"There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it."

"Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we'll all be driving Iraqi cars."

"Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale."
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