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"You have two hemispheres in your brain - a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and right controls the left half. It's a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds."
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"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."
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Personal Development
"For us in Russia communism is a dead dog. For many people in the West, it is still a living lion."
Author Name
Personal Development
"What had begun as a movement to free all black people from racist oppression became a movement with its primary goal the establishment of black male patriarchy."
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Personal Development
"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."
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Personal Development
"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."
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Personal Development
"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."
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Personal Development
"Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters."
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Personal Development
"I don't want my books to exclude anyone, but if they have to, then I would rather they excluded the people who feel they are too smart for them!"
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Personal Development
"With Google I'm starting to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. People in the year 2020 are going to be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless."
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Personal Development
"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."
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"The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything."
Time
"You have two hemispheres in your brain - a left and a right side. The left side controls the right side of your body and right controls the left half. It's a fact. Therefore, left-handers are the only people in their right minds."
People
"The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he's going to be."
Self
"You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church."
Church
"Most of the managers are lifetime .220 hitters. For years pitchers have been getting these managers out 75% of the time and that's why they don't like us."
Time
"I think about the cosmic snowball theory. A few million years from now the sun will burn out and lose its gravitational pull. The earth will turn into a giant snowball and be hurled through space. When that happens it won't matter if I get this guy out."
Earth
"I'm mad at Hank Aaron for deciding to play one more season. I threw him his last home run and thought I'd be remembered forever. Now, I'll have to throw him another."
Home
"People are too hung up on winning. I can get off on a really good helmet throw."
People
"When cerebral processes enter into sports, you start screwing up. It's like the Constitution, which says separate church and state. You have to separate mind and body."
Sports
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