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"It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger."
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"Frozen yogurt is tastier than ice cream; nobody is too old for cartoons; bald men are sexy; chocolate is the best medicine; BIG books are better; cats secretly rule the planet; and everything should be available in the color pink, including monster trucks."
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Personal Development
"Fun is a good thing but only when it spoils nothing better."
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Personal Development
"Working is hard and distracts from having fun."
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Personal Development
"Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion."
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Personal Development
"Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed."
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Personal Development
"I'm one of those writers who tends to be really good at making outlines and sticking to them. I'm very good at doing that, but I don't like it. It sort of takes a lot of the fun out."
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Personal Development
"A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book."
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Personal Development
"It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget."
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Personal Development
"Tell me that the purpose of life is to have fun, and without a care in the world I'll begin wreaking havoc on everything I pass. Now that's what I call pure, honest fun."
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Personal Development
"Fun is never gone because life is fun."
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"But the problem is that when I go around and speak on campuses, I still don't get young men standing up and saying, 'How can I combine career and family?'"
Man
"It is very easy to love alone."
Love
"Men and girls, men and girls: Artificial swine and pearls."
Man
"I have always noticed that in portraits of really great writers the mouth is always firmly closed."
Art
"There is too much fathering going on just now and there is no doubt about it fathers are depressing."
Doubt
"Americans are very friendly and very suspicious, that is what Americans are and that is what always upsets the foreigner, who deals with them, they are so friendly how can they be so suspicious they are so suspicious how can they be so friendly but they just are."
American
"Hemingway's remarks are not literature."
Literature
"In a war everybody always knows all about Switzerland, in peace times it is just Switzerland but in war time it is the only country that everybody has confidence in, everybody."
Peace
"There is a difference between twenty-nine and thirty. When you are twenty-nine it can be the beginning of everything. When you are thirty it can be the end of everything."
Beginning
"A masterpiece... may be unwelcome but it is never dull."
Art
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