"A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego."

Mom, Beer, Ego, Favorite

44

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego."

Exlpore more Mom quotes

"If my mom reads that I'm grammatically incorrect I'll have hell to pay."

Larisa Oleynik, American Actress

Mom, Hell

"Becoming a mom made me more contentious about expressing my true taste."

Edie Brickell, American Musician

Mom, Taste

"I told my agents that I didn't want to go on the audition. But as that was happening I called my mom, who has been watching the show from the beginning, and my mom said, 'It's the coolest show. You have to go.'"

Mary Lynn Rajskub, American Actress

Mom, Beginning, Want

"My mom never taught me to be waiting for some prince on a white horse to swipe me off my feet."

Tyra Banks, American Model

Mom, Feet, Waiting

"I've always wanted to be an actress, ever since I was a little girl. I always played the mom and I played my sister as the daughter. I wanted to be an actress on television and movies instead of just around the house."

Dakota Fanning, American Actress

Mom, Movies, Sister, Daughter

"I was a hyper kid in school and the teacher suggested to my mom she needed to do something with me."

Devon Sawa, Canadian Actor

Mom, School

"My mom just understands about stuff. We have a really good trust, and she knows I can take care of myself."

Balthazar Getty, American Actor

Mom, Trust, Care

"My mom sang in high school choir and so did my father."

Kevin Richardson, American Musician

Mom, Father, School

"My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers."

Pauly Shore, American Comedian

Mom, People, Being, Careers

"I was raised in Boston by three older brothers and a very strong and empowering single mom."

Eliza Dushku, American Actress

Mom, Boston, Brothers

Explore more quotes by Roseanne Barr

"Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?"

Anger

"I was completely nuts for most of my life."

Life

"There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect."

Mother

"My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact."

Agreement

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest."

Heart

"As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job."

Home

"I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them."

People

"I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job."

Day

"My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel."

War

"Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with."

Woman