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"A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego."
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"One time my mom tried to ground me, but that lasted 15 minutes."
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Personal Development
"There is nothing worse that a thirteen-year-old boy. You're embarrassed by your parents, and you're trying to find your independance because, deep inside, you are so dependent on your mom."
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Personal Development
"My children, Michael and Alex, are with our Heavenly Father now, and I know that they will never be hurt again. As a mom, that means more than words could ever say."
Author Name
Personal Development
"That's a big deal for kids, when they come into the kitchen and the teacher is drinking coffee with mom. They react differently on the next day when you say: 'Sit down and shut-up!'"
Author Name
Personal Development
"When I get a new script my mom will read them and just be aghast. I think it's hysterical."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Come Christmas Eve, we usually go to my mom and dad's. Everybody brings one gift and then we play that game when we all steal it from each other. Some are really cool, others are useful and some are a bit out there."
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Personal Development
"I know how to do anything, I'm a mom."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If my mom reads that I'm grammatically incorrect I'll have hell to pay."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I told my agents that I didn't want to go on the audition. But as that was happening I called my mom, who has been watching the show from the beginning, and my mom said, 'It's the coolest show. You have to go.'"
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Personal Development
"Mom ran the house, so we grew up Portuguese."
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Personal Development
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"Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with."
Woman
"I was completely nuts for most of my life."
Life
"As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job."
Home
"I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job."
Day
"A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego."
Mom
"My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel."
War
"There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect."
Mother
"Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?"
Anger
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it."
Woman
"I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them."
People
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