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Roseanne Barr

"A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego."

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"A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego."

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"One time my mom tried to ground me, but that lasted 15 minutes."

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"There is nothing worse that a thirteen-year-old boy. You're embarrassed by your parents, and you're trying to find your independance because, deep inside, you are so dependent on your mom."

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"My children, Michael and Alex, are with our Heavenly Father now, and I know that they will never be hurt again. As a mom, that means more than words could ever say."

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"That's a big deal for kids, when they come into the kitchen and the teacher is drinking coffee with mom. They react differently on the next day when you say: 'Sit down and shut-up!'"

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Donna Grant

"When I get a new script my mom will read them and just be aghast. I think it's hysterical."

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Donna Grant

"I know how to do anything, I'm a mom."

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Donna Grant

"If my mom reads that I'm grammatically incorrect I'll have hell to pay."

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"I told my agents that I didn't want to go on the audition. But as that was happening I called my mom, who has been watching the show from the beginning, and my mom said, 'It's the coolest show. You have to go.'"

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Donna Grant

"Mom ran the house, so we grew up Portuguese."

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Donna Grant

"I was a single mom that raised two bright, beautiful, and compassionate girls."

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Roseanne Barr
"Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with."
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Roseanne Barr
"I was completely nuts for most of my life."
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"As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job."
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"I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job."
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"My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel."
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Roseanne Barr
"There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect."
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Roseanne Barr
"Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?"
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Roseanne Barr
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it."
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Roseanne Barr
"I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job."
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Roseanne Barr
"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest."
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