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"A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego."
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"For everything I do, I think about a 6-year-old girl and her mom that I saw at my concert last night. I think about what those two individuals would think if I were at a club last night. I never want to be arrested, and I never want to get a DUI, those are my moral values."
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Personal Development
"I'm a mom, a full-time mom when I'm not taping. I do the carpool thing, and bake the cookies, and do the homework."
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Personal Development
"When you're a mom and you have three children, nothing bothers you. Trust me. Who cares what people say? I've got other things to deal with."
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Personal Development
"Of course, I would be depressed sometimes, and my Mom would be worried about me because I would just sleep to escape. Cause I was so scared of being a musician or artist, or whatever you want to call it."
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Personal Development
"I was born in Texas and I lived there 'till I was 8. Then I moved to the Dominican Republic with my mom, lived there for two years and forgot every word of English I knew."
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Personal Development
"It was definitely a part of our life. I mean, my mom had both her brothers and her fiancee in Vietnam at the same time, so it wasn't just my dad's story, it was my mom's story too. And we definitely grew up listening to the stories."
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Personal Development
"If my mom reads that I'm grammatically incorrect I'll have hell to pay."
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Personal Development
"I was a single mom that raised two bright, beautiful, and compassionate girls."
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Personal Development
"My brother Jim and I spent many wonderful summers working on dairy farms in Wisconsin owned by Mom's cousins, and as members of our local Boy Scout troop."
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"I was thinking that when I have children, that I should always dress as a character for them, so they think their mom is Alice in Wonderland or Cinderella."
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"I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job."
Day
"There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect."
Mother
"As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job."
Home
"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself."
Time
"I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life."
Life
"A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego."
Mom
"I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job."
Home
"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest."
Heart
"Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?"
Anger
"My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel."
War
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