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"It was a lot more fun to get famous than to be famous."
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"I was the first celebrity in pictures to be marrying a titled European."

"I don't think I'm a celebrity. A chimpanzee could have done what I did."

"It's a cliche, but there really is no handbook about the celebrity thing; you have to figure it out as you go along."

"You have to remember that when you are a performer you become a celebrity, but you are not saving lives. It's not that important."

"I think that's the thing. I don't want to date a celebrity. I want to date a normal person. So I'm looking for a normal person."

"I almost bumped into Alec Baldwin and then turned around and Paris Hilton was standing there. And I was like, 'Look, it's stupid spoiled whore.'"

"One U.S. hit single and a hit T Shirt in 1985 does not a celebrity make."

"Celebrity is a weird appendage, which is useless unless you do something with it."

"The bump I was trying to hide could be the future king of England."
Explore more quotes by Bill Bryson

"There'd never been a more advantageous time to be a criminal in America than during the 13 years of Prohibition. At a stroke, the American government closed down the fifth largest industry in the United States - alcohol production - and just handed it to criminals - a pretty remarkable thing to do."

"Linguist say parties in the conversation will tolerate silence for four seconds before interjecting anything, however unrelated."

"It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively, that was merely an unintended side effect."

"There are three stages in scientific discovery. First, people deny that it is true, then they deny that it is important; finally they credit the wrong person."

"A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things."

"It wasn't until we dropped him at his university dormitory and left him there looking touchingly lost and bewildered amid an assortment of cardboard boxes and suitcases in a spartan room not unlike a prison cell that it really hit home that he was vanishing out of our lives and into his own."

"Consider the Lichen. Lichens are just about the hardiest visible organisms on Earth, but the least ambitious."

"In my day the principal concerns of university students were sex, smoking dope, rioting and learning. Learning was something you did only when the first three weren't available."
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