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Benjamin Alire Saenz

"When I walked into the house, I went in search of one of my dad's bottles. Not that they were that hard to find. He hid bottles all over the house. I knew where they all were. That was one of my hobbies, finding where my dad hid his bottles. It was my version of looking for Easter eggs. In my house, Easter lasted forever."

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"When I walked into the house, I went in search of one of my dad's bottles. Not that they were that hard to find. He hid bottles all over the house. I knew where they all were. That was one of my hobbies, finding where my dad hid his bottles. It was my version of looking for Easter eggs. In my house, Easter lasted forever."

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Akiroq Brost

"Drinking gave me a rush of confidence, and for a boy hounded by feelings of inadequacy, the buzz was a welcome relief. What was impossible to realize at the time was that I was shooting myself in the head in some strange time warp where the bullet takes many years to finally reach its target."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"New Rule: The Napa Valley is Disneyland for alcoholics. Be honest, you're not visiting wineries in four days because you're an oenophile, you're doing it because you're a drunk. It's the only place in America where you can pass out in a stranger's house and it's okay, because it's a B&B and you paid for it."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"I admire anyone who rids himself of an addiction."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"I think it's better to be comfortable in your skin than to be miserable being who you are. Sure, the meth is horrible. It ruins people from the inside out. It's a waiting game --- it's not a matter of if it destroys you, but rather a matter of when it will. I've made it this far. I'm not sending a message that it's 'cool' to be on drugs and tell everyone about it. I don't sum myself up as a drug addict and a hooker. That's not what I am. Those are juts things I do, they don't define me. Jobs and addictions do not make us who we are."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"The truth is that Leon, like a lot of those - maybe everyone - who trips on acid, never really came back. he recovered but he was never the same guy again. He had lost something - innocence of hell. Acid presses a little button in your mind that should never be pressed"

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"What is addiction? Only those that have been kept secret, are addictions. Those that are openly visible cannot be called addiction."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"I used to condemn junkies, like they could get off the stuff if they really wanted to, and that is just as stupid as saying, "You could grow eyes in the back of your head if you really wanted to."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"Why lie, Robert? Why lie? You know that lying is the alcoholics kryptonite, you can't afford it, the reasonable voice in his head screamed."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"I've triumphed over addiction."

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Personal Development

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Akiroq Brost

"For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even made it to the bed. I'd squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I'm now told that this is not called 'going to sleep but rather 'passing out, a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment."

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"Adam says I isolate. He is addicted to telling me that I spend too much time in my head. It's an unhealthy behavior. Look, I don't see how not bothering other people with your screwed-up vision of the world constitutes unhealthy behavior."

Isolation

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"I was fifteen.I was bored.I was miserable."

Adolescence

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"I have it in my head that when we're born, God writes things down on our hearts. See, on some people's hearts he writes happy and on some people's hearts he writes sad and on some people's hearts he writes crazy and on some people's hearts he writes genius and on some people's hearts he writes angry and on some people's hearts he writes winner and on some people's hearts he writes loser."

Fate

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"The heart can get really cold if all you've known is winter."

Emotion

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere. The clearest summer could end in a downpour. Could end in lightning and thunder."

Pain

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"What did being connected to the world get you? It got you sadder. Look, the world is not sane. If you stay connected to an insane world, well, you just go crazy. This is not a complicated theory. It's just simple logic."

Life

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"The day he came home from the hospital, he cried. I held him. I thought he would never stop.I knew that a part of him would never be the same.They cracked more than his ribs."

Family

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"I wondered what it would be like, to love a girl, to know how a girl thinks, to see the world through a girl's eyes. Maybe they knew more than boys. Maybe they understood things that boys could never understand."

Understanding

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"Do you think it will always be this way?'What?'I mean, when do we start feeling like the world belongs to us?I wanted to tell him that the world would never belong to us. 'I don't know, I said. 'Tomorrow."

Youth

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Benjamin Alire Saenz
"In the distance, I can see a storm coming in, the dark clouds and the lightning on the horizon moving towards me. I wait and I wait and I wait for the storm. And then it comes, and the rains wash away the nightmares and the memories. And I'm not afraid."

Observation

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