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"When I walked into the house, I went in search of one of my dad's bottles. Not that they were that hard to find. He hid bottles all over the house. I knew where they all were. That was one of my hobbies, finding where my dad hid his bottles. It was my version of looking for Easter eggs. In my house, Easter lasted forever."
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"Junk turns the user into a plant. Plants do not feel pain since pain has no function in a stationary organism. Junk is a pain killer. A plant has no libido in the human or animal sense. Junk replaces the sex drive. Seeding is the sex of the plant and the function of opium is to delay seeding.Perhaps the intense discomfort of withdrawal is the transition from plant back to animal, from a painless, sexless, timeless state back to sex and pain and time, from death back to life."
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Personal Development
"It was a myth you couldn't function on opiates: shooting up was one thing but for someone like me-jumping at pigeons beating from the sidewalk, afflicted with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder practically to the point of spasticity and cerebral palsy-pills were the key to being not only competent, but high-functioning."
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Personal Development
"It's probably weird to think about an addiction like it's a sentient being, but that's how it feels. Like it's something living inside you. Something you can't get rid of because killing it means killing you. I can't really understand addictions to drugs or alcohol. Things that control you. But an eating disorder is an addiction you control. Wait, is that paradoxical? I prefer to believe not."
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Personal Development
"I have a very addictive personality. If it isn't women, it's money. If it isn't money, it's speeding. And if it isn't speeding, it's women. I also like expensive video consoles where I can punch, kick, screw, shoot and drive legally all night anywhere I fucking well want to."
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Personal Development
"It wasn't so much all the sex that robbed me of my moral bearings, but all the narcotics. I must say, there's something about opium that goes very well with lesbianism."
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Personal Development
"You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town."
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Personal Development
"Opium: that terrible truth serum. Dark secrets guarded for a lifetime can be divulged with carefree folly after a sip of the black smoke."
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Personal Development
"It isn't drugs addicts have to give up. It's misery."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was drawn to all the wrong things: I liked to drink, I was lazy, I didn't have a god, politics, ideas, ideals. I was settled into nothingness; a kind of non-being, and I accepted it. I didn't make for an interesting person. I didn't want to be interesting, it was too hard. What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to live in, and to be left alone. On the other hand, when I got drunk I screamed, went crazy, got all out of hand. One kind of behavior didn't fit the other. I didn't care."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's probably weird to think about an addiction like it's a sentient being, but that's how it feels. Like it's something living inside you. Something you can't get rid of because killing it means killing you."
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"Maybe it wasn't a good idea to rank the people in your life. That's not how the heart worked. The heart didn't make lists."
Equality
"I always thought of men as being hard-maybe because I was hard. But there was a softness in Tom that betrayed his large masculine hands and his deep baritone voice. He knew something about love that I didn't. I don't know where he'd learned it, but it wasn't something you got from a book, not something you could learn in an online class, not something you could borrow. Maybe it was something you were born with. Some people knew how to love and some people didn't. Tom was the former. I was the latter. I didn't know which one of us had it worse."
Sensitivity
"I was getting an A for work. But not for talent. The story of my life."
Talent
"Summer was a book of hope. That's why I loved and hated summers. Because they made me want to believe."
Nostalgia
"Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere. The clearest summer could end in a downpour. Could end in lightning and thunder."
Pain
"Do you think it will always be this way?'What?'I mean, when do we start feeling like the world belongs to us?I wanted to tell him that the world would never belong to us. 'I don't know, I said. 'Tomorrow."
Youth
"And prayer? How could you pray to a God you wanted to hit?"
Faith
"You can't expect to go both ways when you're driving on a one-way street."
Direction
"I wished it was raining,' he said.'I don't need the rain,' I said. 'I need you."
Longing
"Summertime. It was a song. It was a season. I wondered if that season would ever live inside of me."
Nostalgia
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