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"I wanted him to look at me like maybe I was magic."
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"I knew he wouldn't come, but I howled anyway, and when I did, the other wolves would pass images of him to me of what he looked like: lithe, gray, yellow-eyed. I would pass back images of my own, of a wolf on the edge of the woods, silent and cautious, watching me. The images, clear as the slender-leaved trees in front of me, made finding him seem urgent, but I didn't know how to begin to look."
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Personal Development
"Looking at the ocean makes me miss people, and hanging out with people makes me miss the ocean."
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Personal Development
"He failed to see that it contained at once all of Djuna's wishes which had been denied, and these wishes had flown from all directions to meet at this intersection and to plead once more for understanding."
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Personal Development
"Not realizing that I craved his warmth, his nearness, until he was gone."
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Personal Development
"But those two circles, above all the point at which they touched, are the very thing I am mourning for, homesick for, famished for. You tell me 'she goes on.' But my heart and body are crying out, come back, come back. Be a circle, touching my circle on the plane of Nature. But I know this is impossible. I know that the thing I want is exactly the thing I can never get."
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Personal Development
"His eyes missed her as much as the rest of him."
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Personal Development
"I wished it was raining,' he said.'I don't need the rain,' I said. 'I need you."
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Personal Development
"And confessions of love have always seemed out of place when you're gasping for air, when you're begging for pain,when you're missing something, unable to change the channel."
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Personal Development
"He wanted to take his love back from her so badly. The old techniques didn't work anymore. In fact, they'd never worked. How do you stop loving someone? It was one of the world's more brutal mysteries. The more you tried, the less it worked."
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Personal Development
"I missed the sound of her shuffling her homework while I listened to music on her bed. I missed the cold of her feet against my legs when she climbed into bed.I missed the shape of her shadow where it fell across the page of my book. I missed the smell of her hair and the sound of her breath and my Rilke on her nightstand and her wet towel thrown over the back of her desk chair. It felt like I should be sated after having a whole day with her, but it just made me miss her more."
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"Living as Wild Child, I could no longer be Debby Parker comfortably - this name that I'd been given at birth that defined me before I'd had the chance to define myself."
Identity
"I walked without breaks, slept through nights without waking, inhumanly smooth " a small machine."
Endurance
"I wanted both things: strength in my independence and also this new desire. This felt like the beginning of a new kind of love."
Independence
"This was a vision of wildness contained " caged. Huge, powerful animals whose wild dignity was stripped from them.Panic jolted me. These animals had had their freedom seized by people who put their own desires first. In the glint of the silver cage bars I saw the same steely repression, the same cold entitlement that allows people to feel it is okay to steal bodies and lives as I glimpsed while frozen beneath Junior. The boy who had put his few minutes of pleasure before my entire life."
Injustice
"These tools were my parents' way of saying: What you're doing is important. We support it. We want to help you find your way."
Support
"I sensed he was the one who might be able to see me clearly, the way I most wished to be seen."
Connection
"Death is not a pretty flower that had almost pricked me. It was not a small annoyance I could simply bypass and quickly disregard. It was really The End."
Death
"It was my first lesson in the fragility of attraction."
Attraction
"The PCT would lead me to an otherworld, through the sadness I felt here, out of it."
Journey
"I made a conscious effort to name my needs and desires. To carefully listen to and accurately identify what I felt. Hunger, exhaustion, cold, lower-back ache, thirst. The ephemeral pangs: wistfulness and loneliness. Rest fixed most things. Sleep was my sweet reward. I treated bedtime as both incentive and sacrament."
Self-Care
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