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"I knew with certainty now-I could say no, and he would stop. Above all, I felt the fierce beauty of the choice. I knew now what it was that had held me from falling into my desire to be with him fully: I first needed to make sure he was a man who would respect my 'No."
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"It finally had to.I understood that it wouldn't be easy, it would be very hard; I'd need to resist the habit I had developed long ago " with conviction. I'd have to be impolite, an inconvenience, and sometimes awkward. But if I could commit, all that discomfort would add up to zap predatory threats like a Taser gun. I'd stun them. They'd bow to me. I'd let my no echo against the mountains."
"Pops: How about you finish this sentence for me, Jason? When a girl says no she means...Justin, looking desperately at me: No?Nana: Are you sure?Justin, shifting uncomfortably: I'm sure. No means no.Nana: Well look at you. You got one right. Now here's another, even tougher sentence for you to finish. Premarital sex is...Me: Nana! I'm so sorry Justin.Nana: Unlike Pops, I'm not moving on. Justin?Pops: His name is Jason.Justin:Uh....uh....Pops: While you think about that, why don't you tell me how you feel about drinking and driving?Justin: I'm totally against it, I swear!Nana: Methinks he protests too much."
"I felt unready to hold myself responsible for the decision if I slept with him."
"I knew with certainty now-I could say no, and he would stop. Above all, I felt the fierce beauty of the choice. I knew now what it was that had held me from falling into my desire to be with him fully: I first needed to make sure he was a man who would respect my 'No."
Explore more quotes by Aspen Matis
"I wanted both things: strength in my independence and also this new desire. This felt like the beginning of a new kind of love."
"Because I feared I couldn't walk to Newton Centre without her, I needed to hike through desert, snow and woods alone.Childhood is a wilderness."
"I wanted him to declare in shock how overlooked and underestimated I had been ever since I was a child. How lucky he felt to be the one to have discovered me, to have me. I wanted him to look at me like maybe I was magic."
"Absolutely devout in her complete care of my body, she had only taught me to be weak and voiceless. But I had unlearned that lesson. Our enmeshment no longer felt to me like proof of love. I was no longer willing to permit this silencing. Helplessness didn't have to be my identity, I wasn't condemned to it. I was willing-able-to change. Our enmeshment had been enabled by my belief that I needed her to help me, to take care of things for me-and to save me-but, back in the home where I'd learned this helplessness, I found I no longer felt that I was trapped in it."
"I wrote through darkness, vividly seeing: my passivity was not a crime; my desire to trust was not a flaw."
"I saw for the first time that I could stop giving people the power to make me feel disrespected. In my anger I began to see the absurdity of allowing this boy to shame me."
"She told me that my rape was not my fault, that I should feel no shame, that " simple as it may sound " I hadn't caused it. No one causes rape but rapists. No one causes rape but rapists. No one causes rape but rapists. It was true. And it had not been obvious to me. And hearing it from someone else, a professional, someone who should know, helped me believe that soon I would believe it."
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