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"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger."
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Exlpore more President quotes
"I said I didn't want to run for president. I didn't ask you to believe me."
"The President then proceeded to read his Emancipation Proclamation, making remarks on the several parts as he went on, and showing that he had fully considered the whole subject, in all lights under which it had been presented to him."
"The President is going to benefit from me reporting directly to him when I arrive."
"Apparently, the image of our president is as offensive to MTV as it is to me."
"The Chavez-Obama pictures will join a postmodern photo array that includes Donald Rumsfeld gifting Saddam Hussein with spurs from President Reagan."
"If you look at where presidents come from, they're former governors or senators."
"When I talked to him on the phone yesterday. I called him George rather than Mr. Vice President. But, in public, it's Mr. Vice President, because that is who he is."
Explore more quotes by David Letterman
"We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector."
"Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water."
"A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag."
"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."
"Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?"
"Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."
"The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts."
"It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?"
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