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"It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up."
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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
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"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
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"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
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"Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one."
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"Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it."
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Personal Development
"We have actors from other films, from 'Baywatch,' and so on, and these people are looking exactly the opposite of what they are. The transformations were so smooth, and so funny to watch, it was unbelievable."
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"I walked in thinking, 'I have ten movies under my belt and now they want me to go back to making commercials?' I said, if I do that, I want it to be funny."
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"It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."
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Personal Development
"This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club!"
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"I found out a long time ago that if I didn't have a good story for a song, I could just make one up! Now it seems over half the stories in my show are made up. The funny thing is, those seem to be the ones that resonate the most with the audiences."
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"That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't."
Funny
"It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up."
Funny
"There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they've built to look like a temple. It's just a bunch of guys trying to get away from their wives."
Temple
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