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"Dogs are not like cats, who amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw. Men made dogs, they took wolves and gave them human things--unnecessary intelligence, names, a desire to belong, and a twitching inferiority complex. All dogs dream wolf dreams, and know they're dreaming of biting their Maker. Every dog knows, deep in his heart, that he is a Bad Dog..."
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"My parents were very permissive when it came to animals. As long as we earned the money to buy them and built whatever structure it was they were going to live in, we could have any kind of pet we wanted. They would have let us have a rhinoceros if we could have afforded it."
"Reason number 106 why dogs are smarter than humans: once you leave the litter, you sever contact with your mothers."
"Brute animals have the vowel sounds; man only can utter consonants."
"Amongst the minds of animals that of man leads, not as a demigod from another planet, but as a king from the same race."
Explore more quotes by Terry Pratchett
"He was certain he was anorectic, because every time he looked in a mirror he saw a fat man. It was the Archchancellor, standing behind him and shouting at him."
"And that's when I first learned about evil. It is built in to the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior."
"First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft."
"There have been times, lately, when I dearly wished that I could change the past. Well, I can't, but I can change the present, so that when it becomes the past it will turn out to be a past worth having."
"That's the fashion. Fast as the speed of light, they say. Ha! It's got no soul, sir, no heart."
"He stared at his feet. "I'm still very ignorant, he said, "but at least I'm ignorant about really important things."
"Time was something that largely happened to other people; he viewed it in the same way that people on the shore viewed the sea. It was big and it was out there, and sometimes it was an invigorating thing to dip a toe into, but you couldn't live in it all the time. Besides, it always made his skin wrinkle."
"Ye mustn't be afraid to ask for help. Pride is a good thing, my girl, but it will kill you in time."
"Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck."
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