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"That's No'-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock, mistress,' said Not-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock. 'Ye were one jock short,' he added helpfully."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Miss Rice talks very tough. We have gotten used to this nonsense. Miss Rice is a bit emotional about this, and we predicted that she would have a more emotional approach to this."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Being skilled in Catsism is like being a ninja only deadlier and not so silent. The only bad thing is the sickening grammar you have to use."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I wrote the tunes and sang only nonsense words. Then came Moore and dressed them with the lyrics."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It is simple nonsense to speak of the fixed tempo of any particular vocal phrase. Each voice has its peculiarities."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Good sense about trivialities is better than nonsense about things that matter."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee Agreed to have a battle For Tweedle Dum said Tweedle Dee Had spoiled his nice new rattle."
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Personal Development
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"I want to be the most unsold, and the most unsought-after author, after I stop selling my fake name anagrams on the internet."
Creativity
"With all the global warming going around nowadays, it would only take the stubbornness of a mule and the patience of a sitting duck to achieve what no man has ever done before " namely melt the ice in a wax figure's beaten heart that was chopped off and hidden 50 meters under the polar ice caps in Alaska, to protect it from feeling."
Motivation
"To share is just to align with a person."
Unity
"People decided that trees have no feelings."
Environment
"Nostalgia is the only acceptable form of sadness."
Nostalgia
"I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?"
Irony
"Love is always more than friendship."
Friendship
"If I did sales - my technique would be to hand-seal each deal with gourmet omelets, by Jarod Kintz's secret invisible recipe that I stole."
Sales
"When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any."
Wit
"An imaginary friend once asked me why Americans can't stand Russia. The answer was cold, deadly, silent, and, well expected. It's because in Soviet Russia nothing happens anymore, because it doesn't exist anymore. And Americans are all about happenings. If there isn't one " they don't go where it isn't, because there isn't anything to happen to them there."
Satire
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